Open Letter to Mother’s With Strong Willed Daughters

They don’t warn you. Well, they tease you and joke and say funny things like “watch out she might get your attitude” “oh watch out the teen years are going to be tough with a girl.” But they don’t actually warn you, prepare you, and get you ready for the very real possibility that your daughter will be just as strong willed, stubborn, loud, and ambitious as you. All amazing qualities, and I’ll get this out right now there is nothing I love more than a woman who knows what she wants, knows her value, and lets nothing stop her. But that starts with a very very very strong willed child.

Maybe some girls grow into it as they grow, I honestly feel like I was quieter as a kid (I was also taught children are to be seen not heard for a lot of my childhood too so maybe that has something to do with it but I also always had this ambition and determination that I will do things my way) and maybe some of them fall into their ambition in adulthood, or right out the womb they know what they want and aren’t shy asking about it. My daughter has that, and she isn’t quiet about it. Not in the slightest. I catch myself feeling frustrated. I catch myself being irritated that she’s so loud, but I have to stop myself from trying to quiet her. I’m not perfect, I have in fact told her she is too loud. I have told her you need to not be so loud. You need to be quiet. I’m not writing this because I’m some holier than though mother sitting on my thrown of perfection. I’m writing this because I am in tears about how frustrated I have been today with how loud she is about what she wants.

Why is it that a quality that I want her to have as she grows is something that is causing me so much stress and anxiety? Maybe it’s because I’m worried I’m failing, or maybe it’s because I feel like she’s “bad” since she’s not the quiet little doll society wants her to be. Whatever it is I need to remind myself it’s okay. And I want to remind you the same.

Strong willed daughters are, well, strong willed. And it takes incredibly determined mothers to raise them.

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