Gaining Confidence

A question I get a lot is how I have gotten so confident in the past couple years. It’s no secret that I used to be so insecure in my own skin. I hated my legs, hated my lower tummy pooch, and disliked my stretch marks that I had even before children. It’s taken a lot of mindset work to get past all of that and even now I still have days where I fall short of being super confident.

In these pictures the first I am 3 months postpartum the second I am 11 months postpartum

Here are some things that help me get back to feeling good and things that have helped me over the past 3 years to really gain that inner confidence:
1. STOP comparing. Stop the comparison game. Thats it just stop. Stop using other womens bodies as “goals” or other womens lives in general as “goals” and make your own.

2. Buy clothes that FIT you. Yep. How are you going to feel your best if you don’t look your best? Stop trying to fit into your clothes and buy your clothes to fit you. So many different retailers have different sizing standards so if you’re wearing a size 6 at one place and a size 10 at another it can be a total mindfuck and let me tell you it’s no fun trying to fit into pants that do not fit. Throw away the idea that you need to fit into a certain size to be happy. Buy clothes that fit and you’ll see such a turn around in the way you see yourself.

3. Personal Development. I know, I know that’s for “those” people you know the ones with “problems”. I used to feel the same way, but seriously I picked up my first personal development book when I started as a coach and it changed my entire life! It helped me realize my self worth so quickly. I had no idea thats what these self help books were all about. Trust me, EVERYONE needs to read these books. We all have shit we need to work through and we all have insecurities that these books can help us overcome. I would recommend starting with something simple like Jen Sincero’s book You Are A Badass (found here).

Recently my husband and I were able to get out and go to our favorite day spa Glen Ivy Hot Springs located in Corona CA and basically the whole day you just strut around in your swimsuit. It’s amazing, but can also be daunting. Really there are so many women of different shapes, sizes, and ages just rocking their bods like no big deal so it helps you settle in a little and realize we’re all real people wiht real bodies and have nothing to be ashamed of or hide. The very first time I went there for a bacholorette party I was nervous about being in my swimsuit all day, but truly it ended up the best day ever. Now my husband and I frequent this day spa and have a blast every time. The last thing I’m worried about while there is how I look in my swimsuit, not because I think I have this crazy lean trimmed body, but because I don’t care what my body may or may not look like. I’m there to enjoy the day with my husband and relax. Worrying about how I look in my swimsuit does not equal relaxing in my mind at all.

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